New Guidelines for Terror – ISIS wants to conquer the world, but they can’t


It’s not unprecedented. This megalomaniacal quest for world domination. I think it’s been done before. The Khans, The Greats, Napoleon, Adolf and now the Muslim Jihadists.

Do you know what a caliphate is?

In December, The New York Times published confidential comments by Major General Michael K. Nagata, the Special Operations commander for the United States in the Middle East, admitting that he had hardly begun figuring out the Islamic State’s appeal. “We have not defeated the idea,” he said. “We do not even understand the idea.” In the past year, President Obama has referred to the Islamic State, variously, as “not Islamic” and as al-Qaeda’s “jayvee team,” statements that reflected confusion about the group, and may have contributed to significant strategic errors. (From an Article in

ISIS draws its support from a rabid field of young freaks from all over the world, who are joining willy-nilly, not because they understand the intentions of the caliphate, but because they are young people… and young people crave excitement. It has always been thus.

ISIS Rolex
Yes Allah says I must wear a Rolex… to be on top of the 14 year old bomber’s ETA to lift off to heaven!

Young men have gone to war from our own country over the last three generations. It has become almost a rite of passage. Today there are no real wars. Young men and women with slightly exotic or sociopathic tendencies see terrorism as the new proving ground. And ISIS has some pretty wicked, kick-ass videos in their library. Young people are suckers for good production quality.

They are suckers for guns and grenades and ideologies. Some want to piss off their parents and some have a need to fulfill fantasies. Weird stuff.

ISIS leaders have made it quite clear in statements to western and European press outlets. They want to take over the world and impose Sharia law. One told a Vice reporter in an interview that she should cover up. And then threatened that she would be forced to cover up… you know, when the Jihad gets to North America or England, or France. So nuttier than Hitler. And crazier than Genghis Khan. And you have to go shopping for some serious crazy to be nuttier than those two.

At least Hitler had some successes. He put a car in everybody’s garage. It was an ugly car, but it was four wheels and got you there faster than a Schwinn or a Raleigh bicycle. And he did all this in the throes of a depression. His downfall? Well taking a war to 75 different fronts was a pretty stupid idea. Pissing off Chamberlain and Great Britain got them into all sorts of hot water. Attacking Russia in the dead of winter? Was Stannis Baratheon bat crap nuts.

Of course. His number one mistake was genocide. The world does not like a leader who kills people because he does not get along with them. Or hates them. Simply put. The human in us will decry such butchery and the love in us will demand the extinction of such barbarism.

The Islamic State, also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS), follows a distinctive variety of Islam whose beliefs about the path to the Day of Judgment matter to its strategy, and can help the West know its enemy and predict its behavior. Its rise to power is less like the triumph of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt (a group whose leaders the Islamic State considers apostates) than like the realization of a dystopian alternate reality in which David Koresh or Jim Jones survived to wield absolute power over not just a few hundred people, but some 8 million.

Bin Laden viewed his terrorism as a prologue to a caliphate he did not expect to see in his lifetime. His organization was flexible, operating as a geographically diffuse network of autonomous cells. The Islamic State, by contrast, requires territory to remain legitimate, and a top-down structure to rule it. (Its bureaucracy is divided into civil and military arms, and its territory into provinces.)

To take one example: In September, Sheikh Abu Muhammad al-Adnani, the Islamic State’s chief spokesman, called on Muslims in Western countries such as France and Canada to find an infidel and “smash his head with a rock,” poison him, run him over with a car, or “destroy his crops.” To Western ears, the biblical-sounding punishments—the stoning and crop destruction—juxtaposed strangely with his more modern-sounding call to vehicular homicide. (As if to show that he could terrorize by imagery alone, Adnani also referred to Secretary of State John Kerry as an “uncircumcised geezer.”)

(From and article in The Atlantic Monthly)

We get worried about this stuff. But we should never get as worried as the fear mongering politicians who would use such rhetoric for their own purposes, be it to win an election, discredit doves, add to their coffers or increase military spending.

There is will here in ISIS. But there is no way. They come and go. They are part of our evolutionary cycle. Crazy is crazy and will always be crazy.

The problem is. We are all of us, better than that. We know crazy when it speaks. The crazy we should be worried about is the silent crazies. The government, the sociopaths that run our governments. I’m more afraid of Stephen Harper right now than I am of ISIS.

Because Stephen Harper has the will… and the power to carry it out.

ISIS is the spawn of Osama Bin Laden. Who was and still is much more dangerous than any terrorist Islamic group. Martyrs never die.

And let us not forget. It’s run by people who do not possess the zeal that they offer to their followers.

They don’t carry the bombs and when challenged about this, like the Vice Reporter I mentioned up front, their fallback is always… “It is Allah’s will that calls me to be the front man and not the carrier.”

Handy isn’t it. If you’re the only one talking to God? You can delegate the legwork.

Another reason these guys have no shot at the prize. Sooner or later the greeters at Walmart start to get pissed that they’re living in a van underneath the bridge.