Stephen Harper… CEO and Grand Wizard of the real life Mordor – Alberta Tar Sands a national embarassment

Harper’s PCS channeling Hell On Wheels – with Canada’s wild west environmental shitstorm – Hello world… we’re Canada and we just don’t give a shit!


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From The Tyee — Where will you be and what will you be doing when the first giant oil tanker (there will be two every three days), carrying over 200,000 gallons of tar sands goop diluted with solvent, spills its load into the pristine waters of the northern B.C. coast?

We often remember catastrophic events by recalling exactly what we were doing and where we were when we first heard the news, I guess because they were so unthinkable they brought us to a halt, emotionally and psychologically — time stopped. I was driving down a street in Waterloo, Ontario when I heard the news of the Montreal Massacre, and I can still vividly recall my stomach turning as disbelief turned to revulsion. I will never forget that moment. And you will never forget the oil spill moment, if we let it happen.

When global oil companies run your country — when they own your government — economic and environmental catastrophes are guaranteed. In Canada, the oil companies and the Harper government know that an oil spill catastrophe is coming. The precautionary principle, rooted in the notion of the common good and established on a foundation of science, has no place in the calculations of global capital. It is replaced by risk assessment, cost/benefit analysis. But the assessment isn’t aimed at ensuring something bad won’t happen as it seems to imply. It is based on a cost/benefit analysis. How much will the oil spill cost? That it will happen is actually part of the calculation. Remember the Ford Pinto?

Stephen Harper is a national embarrassment. A fungal derelict. A bad news big oil, big gas jackass. A crap eating, liberal-baiting, pro-life gonad with the morals of an alley cat and the wiles of a demonic siren. Money. T’is always been and will always be the harbinger of the Conservative Right. Today we have a prime minister running Canada to ground. That ground. The fucking oil sands. What other ground will Stephen Harper be remembered for. Certainly not moral ground. Certainly not high ground. He offers up his minions like a mafia rat with a non-disclosure grant and a destination to a Caribbean Paradise full expense paid. he’s selling Canada to big oil and has done for the better part of his career in politics. He’s a man on a spree.

The Tyee — “actually, it goes back 20 years to the formation of the Reform Party where Stephen Harper, as Preston Manning’s policy director, blended neo-liberal policies with culturally conservative policies to create a wholly new phenomenon: a right-wing libertarian party posing as populist to ensure a loyal and generous base. Of course, it was Manning who led the party. He had carefully chosen the timing (having got it wrong once before) to coincide with a growing populist discontent amongst prairie and Alberta Conservatives who felt betrayed by Mulroney.

But he and his party needed a kick start. And fortunately for him, the oil companies were eager to find someone who could put together just such a party — one that would never mess with them again. The national energy policy of Pierre Trudeau still traumatized them and they wanted insurance that no one would ever get their hands on their oil. One renegade oil man told me, laughing, that people in the oil industry really, really believe that because they found it, it belongs to them — any tax paid or royalty extracted is simply theft.

His policies are driven by his agenda, which seems to include making Canada into the world’s Mordor.

Where trees, birds, First Nations people, and pristine nature fall in the wake of churning earth movers, giant rapacious GodZillas turning Canada’s north into one great big tailing pond.

All for the edification of one Stephen Harper, whose legacy shall read… we hope… that he had no legacy. A sorceror so heinous that his time in power may be remembered as the straw which brought Canada’s good name into disrepute. he refuses to stand up to big oil. Making him as smarmy as the people that dig it up.

It could be that Harper post -apocalypse will just get lost in a miasma of book tours, touting some schlock about hockey, ethical oil and how global warming was a hoax, all just en ego-centric drift until that day when he pens the Memoir. I have no idea what that memoir will contain. It will not, I assume be a revealing tell-all, along the lines of Jim Bouton’s Ball Four.

I’m certain it will be a tome. It will probably surpass Lincoln’s latest biography in length, breadth and rhetoric.

It will not be interesting. He will not have a love child from Teagan and / or Sara to bog him down in his waning years. More’s the pity. He is no Pierre. He ain’t even Fred Astaire.

Understand that Stephen Harper demands a legacy. He wants a seat at the table of pantheons. But how can he possibly surpass a Trudeau, a WLMK, a John A or Mike Pearson. God forbid they ever want to name an airport for him.

Where could they put it? Come By Chance or Dildo in Newfoundland? Or One Fell over Buffalo Jump Alberta. The logical spot would be Fort Mac.

If you don’t care Fly Harper Air into Fort Mac and Harper International.

A hub for bag men, Chinese Industrialists and Calgary Oil Men.

A place where dreams come to die.

And the statue for the new Airport? Because as we all know every Canadian city and Town or Village must have a symbol of their historic space.

How about David Suzuki on a Cross. And Engraved underneath:

Welcome to Fort Mac!

We kill our bunny huggers here!