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Hooligans disrupt play at the 2014 masters Golf tourney – Mickelson still in coma!

Home/Sports, Terrance Gavan, Video/Hooligans disrupt play at the 2014 masters Golf tourney – Mickelson still in coma!

AUGUSTA, GA—Gathering in large groups and vociferously chanting expletive-filled songs in support of their favorite players, several groups of rival PGA hooligans violently clashed at the Augusta National Golf Club during the final round of the Masters Sunday, sources confirmed.

“They’re here every tournament waving banners and inciting trouble all over the course, but this year’s fights were particularly bad,” Augusta chairman Billy Payne told reporters, noting that the roving bands of die-hard golf enthusiasts left a trail of mayhem that included throwing garbage cans through the Augusta pro shop windows, overturning several ball washers and setting them on fire, and leaving various unfilled divots throughout the course.

“Early in the day on the fifth hole, a group of Stewart Cink supporters tangled with some of the McIlroy Boys in a nasty brawl that spilled out from the gallery onto the green. Then someone from the Furyk Crew chucked a lit flare at Vijay Singh’s caddy, and at that point we just had to suspend play and call in the paddy wagon.”

According to officials, this year’s fights were the worst since a vicious melee at the 2009 Masters in which dozens of berserk, intoxicated hooligans swarmed and savagely beat a defenseless Phil Mickelson into a coma.

When reached for comment, Tiger Woods (who did not play because of an inner body injury) nodded sadly when he heard about rival Mickelson’s beating and hospitalization.

“I sincerely hope it’s nothing trivial,” said Woods just before beating a gopher to death on a practice green. “That’ll teach those fucking rodents to mess with a Tiger!”

By |April 22nd, 2014|Categories: Sports, Terrance Gavan, Video|Tags: , , , , |Comments Off on Hooligans disrupt play at the 2014 masters Golf tourney – Mickelson still in coma!

About the Author:

terrance Gavan is a crap journalist. Humor is integral to every part of his life. Gavan is a raconteur, a story-teller, photographer, designer and videographer. he is also an award winning Canadian Journalist and an award winning news and sports photographer. He has worked for The Manitoban, CBC, CJOB, TSN, Canadian Press, United Press International, The Winnipeg Sun, Interlake Publishing, Sun Media, Runge Press, and the County Voice. He is a web designer, video producer and writer. An award winning poet, He resides in Kawartha Lakes, Ontario with his wife Jackie and boss dog Billie Jean King. Just a skip and hop from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Which is of course the center of the universe!

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