[quote]Warning… The Shrike’s editorial staff (all five of us) exuberantly support everything Bam! Mego writes about the Highlander’s ersatz publisher Blaspheme Lebo. We gustily and wholeheartedly back the ridiculous expenditure of Mego’s guttural nonsense in the support of the Karmic dyspepsia dispensed by our favorite curmudgeon.[/quote]

Hello and Happy VD!!!

Valentines’s Day! Get your mind out of the gutter fellow residents of Halcyon. And while we’re at it? To avoid VD on VD please use STD anti pee… Jimmy Cap. Look it up. I’m tired.


Best read on Because Ronson narrating Ronson is a joy!

Aren’t you glad you reside in Halcyon? Where we have a seniors living residence that contains an Olympic size Swimming pool! To stave off the February blahs! And stretch out those octogenarian-like 40 year old muscles.

You betcha! I am. How did we afford it? Halcyon? Can I get a shout? Oh yeah. I hear yah! Baby! For those who can’t hear the big chorus here at the senior’s centre?

It goes like this… “Hooray!!!! We have an economy!!!”

Unlike Haliburton apparently.

Where their vainglorious pursuit of a pool over the past six or seven years has been mired in a seeping wound of naysay and dysfunctional pessimism.

To wit:

[quote]This being an election year, we can expect to hear from the perennial pool lobby, a group of earnest would-be swimmers who have been trying to get a recreation centre (sic … center please you bumpkin) built in our community. Late last year, the committee published a study commissioned to determine if a pool would be economically viable.

Common sense would tell us it isn’t. Not enough people. And even if many of us say we’ll pay membership dues and attend a recreation centre (sic) regularly, as the survey suggests, anyone who’s ever made a new year’s resolution knows that’s not the same as actually doing it. Tellingly, the report noted how few people were engaged in fitness activities now, which may be a better indicator of where the line between intentions and reality actually lies because for those who look, there are places to exercise.

Even so, the pool committee should continue their efforts. They just need to stop trying to answer the wrong question.(Highlander Publisher Blam Lebo in another of his tumerous, toney and turrible (Thank you Charles Barkely)  tomes)[/quote]

Once again Mr. Lebo’s lede has me absolutely flummoxed. And I’m an intelligent guy. But not prone to dances with unctuous detritus. As delivered by the inimitable Lebo in what we have come to call the weakly Lebola Virus. (Essay/Editorial/Codswallop)

Interesting sidebar here. Did you know that along with his Bachelor of Law and MBA Mr. Lebo possesses a Lifeguard degree. I believe he actually put “that” degree to use. In a younger incarnation Mr. Lebo was master of all he surveyed. In the padded seat of a lifeguard’s chair. Under what we can only assume was a paint pail of zinc oxide sun repellent. Because as we all know Mr. Lebo’s skin is absolutely immaculate. Shoot. I spent my summers on a Manitoba ranch cutting hay and chasing cows. Our sun block was a hefty crust of bullshit when we got too close to the action. And my mug is as weatherbeaten and sun-scarred as a Johnny Bower silkscreen . Look him up! Geez! People! Okay. Leaf Goalie who played without a mask. Yes I met him and it’s true.

Anyway. Mr. Lebo is obviously an expert on things swimming. I have my own Bronze Medallion but I spent my 5 years of lifeguarding on a beach in Hawaii. So I shall bow to Lebo’s pool prowess.

But Mr. Lebo has not played his lifeguard trump card. Instead, for this illusory word-munch, he wanders, like Moses in the desert, chasing Lebo’s favorite dead Palomino. To wit: Pander to the readership. By flexing his meager moot court meanders in a wishy-washy stream of consciousness that needs an editor as urgently as Jeffry Dahmer  needed a dietary consultant.

[quote]The committee, like so many of us, have accepted the line that public services need to pay for themselves. This notion, possibly concocted in the 1980s by a confused bureaucrat with a head full of red tape, comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of the role of government: that it is somehow supposed to operate like a business and pay for itself instead of, you know, deliver government services. By trying to demonstrate a pool’s economic viability, the committee is implicitly accepting this philosophy, or at least attempting to humour its proponents.

With respect and admiration for their determination, members of the committee are operating under rules of engagement designed to make them fail. The fact is, we live in a rich province in a rich country. We are 17,000 people living relatively isolated from many types of recreational opportunities who, as a right of citizenship, should have a recreation centre (sic) that includes a pool.That is where the argument should begin and end. (The crux? Another Lebola Virus unleashed upon a poor unwitting public… pure unadulterated horseshit.[/quote]

How do you know a lawyer is spouting bullshit? His lips are moving. In this case? His fingers are twitching like the 135 orangutans set loose on 700 i-Pads in that oft-cited trope: Monkey Muddles and a Shakespearean Sonnet.

If you bite on the premise? “The committee, like so many of us, have accepted the line that public services need to pay for themselves.” (Who says? Lebo says! Has he researched it? Hmmmm….. ) You bite on the premise. Don’t do that… for fuck’s sake’s people. Don’t bite on the premise. How many times… ? That’s how Muskies end up on a buffet table. Anyway. The premise is full of shit.

That’s not the committee I followed in its infancy. The committee I know could not give a tinker’s fuck who’s paying. The committee that I know have explored all manner of grants and government programs. Because they are pretty smart people. Lebo is curiously obsequious. His ruse is to presume that he is the smartest guy in the room. Oddly enough – and I bring no judgement here – that’s what low affect sociopaths use to great advantage. (For reference read Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath TestA Journey Through the Madness Industry. I have. You will find, after reading that, like its author and his wife, you start assessing your friends and relatives with very scary results. Just sayin’.) Self congratulatory sociopaths try to convince you that they are good for you. That they are smarter. They seldom are.

They rely on another trope. Bullshit baffles brains.

Mr. Lebo is picking on the wrong bunch here. I know people on that committee and they are intelligent men and women.

Bootlicking toadies are not welcome.

Especially when they come late to the party.

An old editor had a cure for such lackluster ad hominem screeds.

“Take this shit… fold it five ways… and shove it where the moon don’t shine. Come back when you’re sober Mego!”

(Ed’s note: Bam! Mego has beena friend of Bill W since April 1, 1989. His editor said that in July, 1976. So we can assume that Bam! Mego authored more psychopathic screeds than Bram Lebo will ever muster… Mr. Lebo having come late to the journalistic party. Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very late. Will Lebola Virus ever get his 10,000 hours of practice in? (Malcolm Gladwell… Ah, shit look it up peeps) Before he makes the Highlander even more moribund than it already is? Time will tell… But the odds in Vegas? Not good.)