einstein

FREEDOM OF INFO REQUEST UNEARTHS SOME TRULY DISTURBING EINSTEIN PORTRAITS

TERRANCE GAVAN – EDITOR

SHRIKE EXCLUSIVE

We have access to the records of Albert Einstein through a ruse played with freedom of information and what we’ve found in his formerly sealed files is literally mind-popping.

Albert Einstein was a closet artist and after an exhaustive search and rescue mission through the locked cellar we have surmised (with the help of renowned art histororian Casper S Roundtree) that Einstein’s mellifluous gifts in physics and math did not translate to the canvas.

Says Dr. Roundtree: “Alas, god giveth and god doth not give. Einstein may have been an intellect of astounding proportion, but he draws like my ADHD 5 year old son. But he does draw some very nice circles.”

Either Albert Einstein was a closet Picassoist or  he had absolutely no artistic talents. We opt for the latter. But we will be releasing a portrait (inspired by LSD and Peyote and Magic Mushrooms) a day, some of them like the one at the right (labelled a self portrait, June 1948) really really batshit crazy, with that hint of insouciance that biographers have always hinted at.

Big brain, he had, but it looks like his working synapses were restricted to math and physics.

So we have a file stocked with landscapes, fruit on tables and then another stock of drawings labeled LSD portraits.

We have no idea what he meant by that, but upon looking at the self-portrait he drew in 1948 it appears that he drew the 16 paintings in the LSD collection while under the influence of hallucinogens. Einstein was a close friend of Carlos Castaneda and we can only guess that old Al had accompanied Carlos on at least a couple of occasions.

So for what it’s worth we give you Albert on Peyote. It looks like it’s a water color on white canvas.

Please keep this space bookmarked as we will be releasing a portrait a day from the previously buried collection that we’ll call Einstein on Shrooms.