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VIDEO: Sweden 3, Canada 0 — Canada is slow: Bob McKenzie

Home/Hockey, Rants, Sports/VIDEO: Sweden 3, Canada 0 — Canada is slow: Bob McKenzie
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And the puck stops here for Canada’s Juniors

All rights to TSN Canada

Andre Burakovsky shoved himself in the face of the Canadian Junior team this past weekend.

His crime?

Saying that on paper the Swedish juniors were better than the Canadian juniors.

For this the brash young Burakovsky was scalded for his? Well? Brashness. Hubris. Pride. Bragadoccio.

Mainly he pissed off a lot of talking head sports lunatics in Canada. According to hockey lore, one is not supposed to make these types of pronouncements on the eve of a tournament.

So many sports journalists in Canada, going into Sunday’s game versus Sweden, were secretly harboring a notion of early Christmas. They were, indeed, hoping that Mr. Burakovsky would get his brass balls crushed in a Canadian auger.

Didn’t happen. Andre backed up his bold prognostication with a goal and an assist.

The Swedes skated curliquews around an inept and dour looking squad from Canada and Andre’s teammates put a thunderous exclamation point on Andre the Brash’s pre-game Nostradomomaniacal gambit.

So. Young Andre got under some skin and into some young heads.

Then he placed those heads up the arseholes of every member of that young Canada squadron.

In the video you will hear two talking heads from TSN (The T stands for The!!!) McKenzie and Duthie the James, trying hard to explain what went wrong, all the while bringing Andre’s outpouring into the lede of the story.

Buried the lede again fellows. The story is not the fact that Andre knew. It’s that you guys didn’t.

Coach Sutter wasn’t paying a whole fuck of a lot of attention to the press. We know this because he is… well? A Sutter. What Coaqch S will be telling his players is what Canadians should say to the talking heads! Yo! Boyz! Concentrate more on the x and the o and try to stay away from the howling gambits emanating from the opposition.  And get this Bob and James. Players don’t care. I don’t care. And Coach don’t care to grope around in the dark chasing some ersatz bullshit about this and that and why that is thus.

Players say shit all the time. Does not mean it’s part of the fucking story!

So say thank you to young Andre for breaking it down for you.

On paper and on the ice the Swedes are better. But better has nothing to do with it.

You see James and Bob. If better was all it took?

We wouldn’t be playing the games.

How did lowly Notre Dame end UCLA’s 88 game winning streak.

Because they were the last team with the ball and Austin Carr got it in his hands.

Not better. Just more accepting of the moment.

Now go back to J-School and learn how to write a lede.

Terrance Gavan is a Sports Journalist who writes for a few hockey blogs.

By |December 23rd, 2013|Categories: Hockey, Rants, Sports|Tags: , , , , , |Comments Off on VIDEO: Sweden 3, Canada 0 — Canada is slow: Bob McKenzie

About the Author:

terrance Gavan is a crap journalist. Humor is integral to every part of his life. Gavan is a raconteur, a story-teller, photographer, designer and videographer. he is also an award winning Canadian Journalist and an award winning news and sports photographer. He has worked for The Manitoban, CBC, CJOB, TSN, Canadian Press, United Press International, The Winnipeg Sun, Interlake Publishing, Sun Media, Runge Press, and the County Voice. He is a web designer, video producer and writer. An award winning poet, He resides in Kawartha Lakes, Ontario with his wife Jackie and boss dog Billie Jean King. Just a skip and hop from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Which is of course the center of the universe!

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