Rob Ford’s approval rating up 5 points…

Rob Ford ain’t no quitter – says his new publicist

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This is Tommy Bodine Lancealot. He is Mayor Rob Ford's new publicist. Has winning strategy. Phot by Miami Dade Booking Sergeant!

This is Tommy Bodine Lancealot. He is Mayor Rob Ford’s new publicist. Has winning strategy. Phot by Miami Dade Booking Sergeant!

TERRANCE GAVAN – EDITOR

TorStar reports that, “Mayor Rob Ford’s approval rating rose slightly after Police Chief Bill Blair confirmed the existence of a video in which Ford appears to smoke crack cocaine and make homophobic and racist remarks, according to a poll taken Thursday night by Forum Research.”

Racial slurs, slurs, slurring and crack. If you believe in polls? This is all a win-win gambit by Toronto’s erstwhile fat cat Mayor Rob Ford.

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][quote]BY Tim Alamenciak – TorStar Media –The poll found that 44 per cent of voters approve of the job Rob Ford is doing as mayor, while an Oct. 28 poll found that just 39 per cent approved.[/quote]

Yea. Go ahead you figure it out. Because it has me befuddled, bewitched and beduddled. There has to be an explanation.

So I went to the source. Ford’s media guy, Tommy Bodine Lancealot. TBL is in charge of this whole shebang, and he is listed officially as Ford’s sometime driver and full time publicist.

So, if there is a rising meteor, in the middle of all this space junk? It’s apparently TB Lancealot.

I sat down with him and I’ll say it right here: I was impressed. Lancealot is a graduate of Harvard business school and he was involved in both the 2008 and 2012 Obama campaigns. He came to city hall in Toronto without fanfare last May, just in time for the now infamous crack cocaine kerfuffle.

Ed: First, Tommy let me thank you for showing up. I realize that you don’t grant interviews and so I was surprised that you said yes to this Q and A.

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Rob Ford is Charlie Sheen... winning... winning...winning.

Rob Ford is Charlie Sheen… winning… winning…winning.

Tommy: No probs Gav, I heard you are an honest broker and straight shooter, so I’m happy to be with you here in the Kawarthas.

Ed: So, what’s he like? Rob Ford?

Tommy: Like you Gav. He’s a straight shooter and a fiscal conservative who has, as he will tell anyone who’s willing to listen, saved the City of Toronto at least$780 million. Rob Ford likes his BBQ, but he likes to remove the fat from his TBone.

Ed: And along with all that? He apparently has a substance abuse problem?

Tommy: Sure he does. He’s a hound! Always has been. He likes to have a few beers and the occasional puff here and there.

Ed: So you have no problem with the video that shows a darker side of the populist mayor?

Tommy: On the contrary Gav. Have you seen the fuckin’ polls? We’re killing here man! His popularity is up since the cops went public with the tape. We welcome the scrutiny! Who wouldn’t? I’m pretty sure that Obama nailed the last election because he sucks at bowling and he can’t seem to kick his butt habit. What you have to understand is, Gav, people like a man who knows where he’s goin’ even if he doesn’t always remember where he’s been.”

Ed: And the racial slurs and staggering around at parties?

Tommy: One word Gav! WINNING!!!! WINNING!

Ed: That’s two words and I think you stole that from Charlie Sheen. What’s your strategy going forward?

Tommy: Well we popped for five points after all of this. Crack, racial slurs and pints of Smirnoff’s vodka. It’s time to up the ante as it were Gav.

Ed: And…?

Tommy: Isn’t it obvious? First we’re ditching the crack and replacing that tame shit with black tar heroin. Then we’re gonna’ take some pictures of him swearing at a Toronto Bike Messenger. Then we’ve got a YouTube bit of him kicking a puppy… whoa… I know what you’re thinking. We’re not using a real animal. We gat a guy who can chromakey the crap outta’ anything.

Ed: Tommy…? You actually sound like you’re serious here. You do know you’re on tape?

Tommy: Ya Gav! Do you think I’m stupid? Bring it on, I say. I figure once all of that shit hits the fan – and his fans – and the national and international wires Rob Ford will be up another 15% and Ford will be on his way to another election landslide!

Ed: I am absolutely flabbergasted, nonplussed and a little spooked right now…

Tommy: Damn right you are! Hah! Vote Rob Ford… 2015!! Rahhhhhhhhhhhhh argggghhhhhhhh! Oh, I almost forgot. We’re closing all the Toronto rehabs as part of a budget slash! As Robbie said, in a late night think tank session last week: “Rehab! Rehab? REHAB?! I ain’t goin’ to rehab! Rehab is for quitters.”

Tommy: And Rob Ford is no quitter Gav… Gav? Gav? Where’d that Irish fucker go?

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