German police fired only 85 bullets in 2011 – and 46 were warning shots


Guns don’t kill people… societal norms kill people

Cuppa Joe Simonsky – From Der Spiegel -May 12 -2012

According to Germany’s Der Spiegel, German police shot only 85 bullets in all of 2011, a stark reminder that not every country is as gun-crazy as the U.S. of A. As Boing Boing translates, most of those shots weren’t even aimed people: “49 warning shots, 36 shots on suspects. 15 persons were injured, 6 were killed.”

RELATED: Germany Can’t Keep Its Cute Animals Alive

Technically, about 9,000 more shots were fired at sick and dangerous animals. (Germany, why do you kill your animals?) But since we couldn’t watch the end of Old Yeller, we’ll look the other way on those humanitarian shootings.

RELATED: Gleeks Go Global; Europe Greets ‘Glee’

Meanwhile, in the U.S., where the population is little less than four times the size of Germany’s, well, we can get to 85 in just one sitting, thank you very much. 84 shots fired at one murder suspect in Harlem, another 90 shot at one fleeing unarmed man in Los Angeles. And that was just April. So we bring you Germany’s shot total in case you forgot about America shoots itself in the foot with its manic love of guns.

Cuppa Joe Simonsky says:

Just when we thought that America well and truly had the proper perspective on things – you know, like killing unarmed suspects at a willy nilly rate.

We are presented with this bloody annoying traipse of trivia. German police fired only 85 rounds and just 36 of those shots were actually aimed at somebody. In a year! A bloody year. Look at the new York Post. New York Dicks fired 84 at a guy in like three and a half minutes.

Begging the question: What the hell has happened to Germany? Remember the Reich? When every German citizen had a car in the garage and a Luger in their waistband? The trains ran on time and… well, okay that’s it for the positives. But I mean… guns. They had guns. And they pointed them… a lot. They were a lot like… hmmm, the United States is today.

So we are gobsmacked. How do the Germans maintain law and order while expending so little on deadly force. I mean. If I’m led to believe anything from renowned Arizona gun freak and Sheriff Joe Arpaio? It’s that we need more bullets flying to ensure law and order.

Oops. My fact checker Muley O’Hooley has just presented me with this tidbit.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been sued by the federal government for civil rights violations, National Public Radio reports. The lawsuit was filed by the Justice Department.

They accuse Arpaio of “violating the civil rights of Latino drivers and inmates in the county jail.” Among the allegations, Justice Department lawyers say the sheriff pulled over Latino drivers for no reason. They also claim he retaliated against judges and lawyers critical of him and gave no services to non-English-speaking inmates.

Arpaio isn’t going down quietly though. He’s fired back with choice words regarding the suit.

“I’m not going to give up my authority to the federal government. It’s as simple as that,” Arpaio said.

Ah, well, we can only assume that crime is up in Germany and the criminals are running amok in the Bundenstrassas?

What? No I’m being shouted at by my fact checker Brendan O’TooToo and he’s saying that violent crime is down.

So how are the Sour Krauts shooting so little and still keeping a handle on rampant hooliganism?

I have no idea.

All I do know is… based on the very successful law and order paradigm in the United States?

That guns are good for crime. Period. Wait. Parse that please. Ah, hell, you know what I mean.

Just ask the National Rifle Association.

They have statistics out the ying-yang extolling the virtues of a pink Glock P29 in every handbag and a fully functioning M-16 assault rifle in the umbrella rack of every home.

So Germany.

Hold up your end. Put you officers on alert and on a quota.

Fire more bullets you cowering turds!

My god almighty!

85 bullets?

Geezuzi Kristuzi Germany.

They fire more rounds that that at a Talladega Tailgate Party to toast Dale Earnhardt. Yes, Dale Senior you Stock car illiterates.

Less talk more action Germany.

You’re letting us all down and you’re making arms dealers the world over… very, very nervous.

Cuppa Joe Simonsky is a freelance writer and humor columnist, a Pulitzer prize Nominee and the author of New York Times bestseller (1968) of “Wasteland – My 12 years with Dr. Timothy Leery”