Cherry’s expounding backfires
By Terrance Gavan
The NHL playoffs suffer this year from a conflab of conflagration.
No Canadian teams, no Sid the Kid, no returning finalists and truculence that borders on the ludicrous.
Raffi Torres, who probably should be in jail, instead of appealing a 25 game sentence for crimes against humanity, is just one symptom of the NHL sociopaths’ recidivist problem.
Vancouver was ousted essentially and undeniably by a headhunting incident involving everyone’s favorite eugenics experiment: the Sedinista Supremacy. Resulting in one of the twin’s absence from some pivotal first round games.
One of them got belted by another headhunting hooligan, and Vancouver GM Mike Gillis, ever the disingenuous delinquent, has decided to blame it all on Haliburton’s Cody Hodgson. Yes, apparently Cody Hodgson was a huge Excedrin headache for Gillis. Poor Mike. He got Zachary Kassian for Cody Hodgson and we will see how that lovely mush of mediocre managing pans out in the fullness of time.
Bahstahn went gently into a filtered dawn, all vapors and fumes before finally misting to desultory Potteresque poof, disappearing as blithely as a Southie gangster slides into the walls of a seedy Irish pub when the Billie Clubs with badges stroll in for a nightcap.
Speaking of Bahstahn.
The iconic blunderbuss of burbled brash tacks, Don Cherry took some time to chastise a friend of mine the other day.
Cherry, it has been widely reported by a delighted popinjay clatter of pundits who despise the bastard, said Trotz was out of his ever-lovin’ mind for benching two Russians who decided to have a few pops in a Phoenix bar instead of, you know, taking this whole battle with the former Winnipeg Jets seriously. I’m sorry. The Roadrunners. What? Coyotes? Jeez. Phoenix Jets get a choice between a Roadrunner and a Coyote and they pick the most consistent cartoon loser since Sylvester and Fudd. Coincidentally the name of the law firm currently representing me in another lawsuit.
Anyway. Cherry said on a coach’s coroner segment that Trotz – from Winnipeg – should never bench his two best offensive threats. They are Messers Tretiak and Stalin or is it Portnoy and Poutine? What? My fact checker has just sent this over. The healthy scratches were forwards Alex Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn for Game 3 after a curfew violation last Saturday, prior to Game 2.
Here’s what Too Many Men on The Ice Cherry-O had to say about a working coach’s decision.
“It’s funny,” said Donny-Brook. “I just listened to some of the guys on the other channel … Roenick and the guys, and everybody is right. Absolutely. To make the franchise look good, it’s politically correct, everyone says, ‘Put a bullet in their head, bench them.’ Well, not me. Not a chance. When you do that, you irk the club. You really … who do you hurt? You hurt the Russians? You’re gonna teach them discipline? You’re not gonna hurt them!
“But I’ll tell you one thing: [/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Radulov] is the No. 1 scorer and [Kostitsyn] is the No. 2 scorer. Just watch these plays … you’re gonna bench these guys? I love Tootoo and the other guys, don’t get me wrong, but these are your top scorers. This is the playoffs. This could be the Stanley Cup.”
And this is why Don Chairy is sitting upstairs like a court jester on meth while the real hockey minds are Standing behind the bench. So sit Chairy. Shut your mouth. And talk about the troops. Or your affinity for Bobby Orr. But shut up about the game. Because Don? It’s passed you bye-bye baby-bye-bye.
I worked with Barry Trotz back when he was a player at the University of Manitoba, and I was toiling as a sports information director.
In fact I used to announce Bison Games at the old Max Bell Centre. I got to know Trotzie because he spent some time – hah – in the sin bin beside me, and because he was one of the most astute players I ever met. He was sturdy – still is – and he came to the Bisons after his junior eligibility ended.
Coach Wayne Fleming was one of the first Canadian College coaches to recognize a formerly disabused rich stream of Junior A and B talent. Players who missed out on a dream, and some players who were looking to further their education after the dangled ritual of an NHL career.
The Flemmer is a gold medal winning coach from Salt Lake Olympics and is working with Stamkos and the Florida whatchamacallits today.
I’ll tell you what Flemmer said when Trotzy benched those two Russians.
He said, “Good decision Barry!” And I know what Fleming said when he heard Cherry’s rotund rebuke and rebuff of his good friend. But I can’t print it.
Good to remember that Wayne Fleming is a coach with a job.
Unlike Don Cherry.
Who as always is just a tired old has been with an anecdote and a pretty coat.
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.