Brett Favre Rumor mill – churns with the detritus of another phoenix rising

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True Blood Baby! This is Brett Favre today. he gets his hair greyed and wrinkles in to fool the world. He is a vampire. No, not Dorian Grey. And he will be back. Because? He's out to suck NFL owners dry! Photo by Margene Atkins.

By Terrance Gavan – Editor

Moaning and groaning and filled with despair

We listen intently.

Shit! Brett Favre is there.

I thought we were done with this guy.

But a year after making his final and penultimate declaration of divorce from the game. Football that is.

The diamond-clustered diva returns. As Hank someone might say: “On the wings of a snow white dove!”

I’m okay with all this. Because in spite of, or perhaps because of his foibles and the inordinate size of his cohunes?

I still love the guy.

Some pundits are spilling bile, but screw ’em. I say let that phoenix rise again, and again, and again.

Brett Favre should actually have a television series.

Brett Favre Blood Sucking Bastard: An epic tale of a garlic-fearing NFL qusarteback who just won’t retire.

What could be better than that HBO?

True Blood and now? Brettt Bleeds.

His lair in a small backwater village. He emerges only in the fall. On batwings. Landing on some faraway practice facility.

Where he weaves that special spell.

And spills the blood of honest hardworking football fans. Who pay big to see this Brett-Bat-Bastard mollify his yearn – for everlasting popmposity!

HBO. Call me baby!

Never mind. Here’s Yahoo Sports oracle Howie Eskin with the babble on the bauble we all love to watch. Because it’s a little like a train wreck and a lot like a rerun of My Favorite Martian.

The worst part is that though Favre has made no noises about returning to the game after retirement (again), his possible tenure with the Eagles makes all the sense in the world, especially given the time constraints of the (potential) new CBA. If the league year starts next Wednesday, training camps will be limited at best, and we all know how Favre has enjoyed playing his own tune when it comes to that part of the preseason — he was very transparent in his last two retirements, both of which had him with theMinnesota Vikings when those retirements were retracted.

Add in the fact that Favre knows Eagles head coach Andy Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg from his days in Green Bay, and you’ve got a good scheme fit for Favre’s talents. And when the Eagles trade Kevin Kolb(notes) (as they undeniably will), that will put Michael Vick(notes) out there as the absolute starter. Factor in Vick’s breakneck style, the injuries it led to in 2010, and the four games he missed, and it’s clear the Eagles need a veteran backup familiar with a West Coast Offense that has aerial passing components.

Right now, this is just Eskin’s rumor, though he’s fairly dialed in. The Eagles can’t talk to free agents or draft picks, but there’s nothing in the lockout rules we’re aware of preventing them from talking to retired players. If Favre is interested in coming back to a team able to challenge for a Super Bowl, in a media hotbed, behind a vulnerable quarterback, which a staff he knows, and talented targets all over the place … well, there would be few better places for him to go.

Then, there’s the intangible argument. The lockout has taken the attention of the NFL media through the spring and summer; very few people have made Favre the primary subject of their attention, and we all know how he reacts to that.

It’s tempting to ask the owners and players to put some sort of “Anti-Favre” provision in the new CBA before the NFLPA signs off on it, but we suppose we’ll have to see how this plays out.

Again. Good Lord, again.

Related: Kevin KolbBrett FavreMichael VickMinnesota Vikings