Beat it Mantracker – A Highlander rants on Mantracker, County handouts, the Bieb and Lady GaGa

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Okay. This episode of Mantracker gets my green light. Terry Grant - oops he's gone - and the Biebs tracking down the Ga in her meat dress on the Rail Trail. Photo by Gump Worsley. -

Mantracker comes to Haliburton with cowboy hat in hand … arghhhhhh!

By Terrance Gavan – Highland Rants

Two weeks ago we had City TVs Breakfast show asking Haliburton County – and the ratepayers – for $12,000 to pop an episode from this wonderful niche of god’s verdant hectare. That’s right here knuckleheads.

Now dear friends and voters we give you Mantracker.

That’s a cable show and you may be forgiven for having absolutely no fecking idea what or who this Mantracker is.

I am a dedicated cable viewer and I have never heard of the show.

Haliburton Echo and Minden Times writer Chad Ingram reports that Mr. Mantracker appeared at County Council last week bearing some more good news for the cash-strapped voters of Haliburton County.

“Television series Mantracker wants to film in Haliburton County, but members of the county’s economic development committee don’t appear to be big fans of the idea.

The committee received a request from the producers of the show, which airs in Canada on Outdoor Life Network, CityTV and G4TV, at its July 13 meeting. The program features two people who are dropped off in the wilderness with a compass and map who have to find their way to a certain point before being apprehended by a tracker on a horse.

“They are looking for and generally receive some sort of monetary assistance from the host community of approximately $6,000,” county economic development director Bob Smith wrote in a report. “However, the department has negotiated with them and believes this project can be facilitated for an amount between $3,500 and $4,500. The long and short of it is without something from the county, they would most likely . . . be seeking another venue.” “

As stated in the preamble of this screed – ah yes t’will be I’m afraid – the same committee was approached by City TV Breakfast Club about hosting their show for $12,000 just three weeks ago.

Now come the Man Tracker offering a fire sale deep discount price of $3,500 or $4,500.

So I’m going to clarify a few things.

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Aha. I'd look good in that hat! Photo by Larry Mahan.

First let’s google this sumbitch of a program. Cos’ I’m pretty sure if they’re asking for this amount of money they must at least have some sort of website extant.

Ah yes.

Here we go.

Back in February Mantracker’s hero and star – a former Alberta cow puncher – quit.

So they’re looking for a replacement.

Here’s the dealio.

Their site’s in flash and there’s no cut and paste options so I’ll give you the skinny from an article in the NorthEast News.

The show, which airs on the Outdoor Living Network, pits the Mantracker, Terry Grant, and a local guide – the “Sidekick” – against two people who, using a compass and a map, attempt to cross some 40 kilometres of the most rugged terrain in North America to reach a finish line within 36 hours without getting caught. Mantracker and his Sidekick are on horseback and start a few kilometres behind their “prey” but don’t know the team’s destination and must rely on Grant’s experience in tracking as a 25-year veteran of the Alberta Foothills Search and Rescue Team.
The show’s producers recently announced that Grant is retiring following his sixth season with the show, which premieres in May, and are now searching for a new host for season seven to be filmed later this year for broadcast in 2012.
“It’s essential that whoever we choose as the new Mantracker has the skills of a tracker, horsemanship skills and general bush knowledge,” said Ihor Macijiwsky, the show’s creator and executive producer. “We want to entertain our audience, so aside from those skills, we are looking for certain kind of character, an interesting personality, a look, but we’re keeping a very open mind about what that might be.”

For the record. Grant is apparently not a happy camper. And left under some cloud. Was he Conanized? No one’s talking. he’s back punching cows. PETA is on the prowl! Watch out Terry and hide your horse.

We digress. The important thing for this county and its taxpayers?

Here’s another show that wants in on our scenic locale. Haliburton County.

On the citizen’s dime.

Why do we always seem to get stuck on the horse’s ass side of the free enterprise paradigm?

Mantracker and you there over to the county council?

It’s a free world.

Here’s a twist.

You pay us.

For the privilege of filming here.

And quit blowing smoke up our collective bums, by telling us  that you’re bringing exposure to the county with this Mantracker thingy.

You see any turnip trucks around here?

We’re smart people in Haliburton County.

But we’re depressed. We’re depressed economically. We live in one of the poorest ridings in the province.

And we’re depressed about the large amount of bovine excrement being dropped on our doorstep by free enterprise outlets who keep telling us that they’re worth the money.

Shut up! Get the hellout of town. Here’s an idea. Take that fecking horse to the Mantracker studios and see if you can track down an exec with a brain bigger than a pea!

And oh? Don’t come back unless you bring some money or … or…? Wait. I feel an inspirational segue chugging over the horizon of that soggy sponge and flickering prism that passes for my brain.

Here’s the dealio. Will pay when and only when:

You’ve snagged Lady GaGa and you’re going to host an episode from the Highlands where Mantracker and his sidekick Justin Bieber sets out hot on the Rail Trail in search of the dripping meat issuing forth from the Ga’s Meat Dress.

She beelines it for the Rotary Summer Carnival and is last seen spinning around on the Rotary Club’s BBQ spit?

The Biebs and the New Host of Mantracker – I’ve got my application in – get there just in time to chow down on some brisket and build a stage for Lady GaGa’s closing performance.

Gav wins the Lime Green car in the raffle. Takes the money. (Yes geez folks it’s $30,000 take the money!)
He starts a new paper and asks the Economic Development Committee for $22,000 in start up fees?
Now that episode?

I’d pay a few bucks to see.

Get back to me.

I’ll have my guy phone your guy!

Until then.

Take that show and that ugly two-bit remuneration request… and shove it!

Gav has left the building!

twitter.com/terrancegavan gav@pardontheeruption.com
[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]