[Video] Cuppa Joe – Darwin Awards top five videos … laugh out loud hilarious

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Aha. We arrived at our hotel at 11 am and I got a chance to snap this as the bells chimed noon! Photo by Cuppa Joe Simonsky.

Man on the street interviews from Parliament Hill today – stay tuned and for gosh sakes bookmark me!

By Cuppa Joe Simonsky – In Ottawa

I’m at the Marriott and I can see the Parliament buildings from my catbird seat on the 15th floor.

Ehinger, our contributing editor, rolled in at about 3 am from his “national teacher’s conference” swap spit meeting this morning.

I was still writing, completing the fourth chapter of my upcoming book. “Everything I need to know I learned in Rehab”

Ehinger needs to read my book. Okay so I’m being facetious. But I guarantee that if I was still drinking.

Neither of us would have made it back till breakfast. In fact that’s the title of my fourth chapter. “Rolling Home for Brekkie!”

Anyway, this guy Ehinger pulled me aside in March of 1998 and said: “Geez, you’re a fucking mess.”

He shoved a piece of paper over to me and said phone this number if you still want to live. Turns out I did. Read the fucking book. It comes out in five days. According to my editor. Screw you Frank and quit phoning! I’m way behind schedule and your advance is still in the envelope because I knew this would happen.

We digress.

Wel,l Ehinger and I hooked up for some doubles on Frank Street in Ottawa last nite.

From 9 till the lites went out on the courts at 11:30.

Two young dudes cranked us 6-2 and we had them 3-1 in the second set when it all went dark

I returned to my rented car with our contributing editor and right there on my windshield?

A fucking city of Ottawa ticket.

$70 if you delay and $50 if you pay right away.

Geez. What’s the world come to?

They’re offering deep discounts on parking tickets… in the National Capital. Fuck you Stephen Harper! Okay. Sorry Your Hairness. I know. I should be swearing at the mayor but I have no idea who he or she is.

Screw them I’m calling my lawyer Ozzie Rabinowich. I went to undergrad school at Carleton University with this dude and he’s a hard working ┬áball crusher.

He hates the city of Ottawa. And he does pro bono work on his days-off fighting parking tickets.

So kiss my ass city of Ottawa. Go Ozzie Go! Imagine. We don’t do this in Vancouver. We treat our visitors with respect.

Anyway the video is great.

An old standbye from the Darwin Awards. Guaranteed to skycap your morning.

I had two Starbucks cappuccino verde? Vente? Shit, the extra large.

I am going busking on the Sparks Street Mall at some point today.

Will have film of that as well.

Just a shout out to Carl Dixon here. He’s starring in the Haliburton Summer Festival’s Looking next week.

And he gave me the guitar that I’ll be busking with.

The case too. It’s old, it’s battered and it’s mine.

Every time I play I think of you Carl.

Anyway folks. Enjoy the video and I’ll be posting.

Gav is apparently going to join us at some point today.

We’ll see you on video. Later today. Hey, Gav just rolled into the hotel room. The fun starts. Two reformed drunks at large in the big smoke.

Ciao Babies!

Cuppa Joe can be reached at cuppajoe@pardontheeruption.com[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]