Delighted, bedeviled and depressing – two leaders hit the road running

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Dalton McGuillicutty has warmed up the bus and Seamus is having nunavit! Foto by Arnold Palmer.

By Seamus OBradaigh – Editor Emeritus

Sooner than later. Crap and candor. Emitted from the pieholes of those worthy contenders.

Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee.

Go ahead if you must. Follow this folly of frowns, fickle blather and fatuous fact.

I quit on this race before it begins. Election 2011 that war of the the word pitting Dowdy Dalton and Terrible Tim in a battle for lenient judgement.

They’re rolling out the tripe, the trite, the hackneyed and the slight. These two men, trading spit but alas no punches.

For I say let’s settle this with Queensbury, not quotes!

Damn and bustle. On me ol’ da’s grave. I swear. Never have I seen the likes before. Two limp dicks in search of an elective viagra.

I see Mike Pearson and Dief the Chief trading jars and jabs in Limbo – for surely no politician no matter how forthright gets out of that secondary hell without doing a mandatory 75-80? – carping, braying and abusing these two poseurs.

Two leaders, Tim WhoDat and Premier Dalton McGuillicutty are scampering about the province telling people hither thither and there what this Ontario Election is all about.

I can’t be bothered to indulge in a squalid road trip when the sun is shining.

So let the fecking mothership do the leggy shit.

CBC Reports:

Ontario voters are getting a preview of the main battles in the upcoming provincial election campaign as the Liberal and Conservative leaders test-drive their stump speeches over the next few weeks.

Premier Dalton McGuinty is hitting the road with a new speech promoting his government’s policies, while Opposition Leader Tim Hudak will also be criss-crossing the province, attacking the Liberals for some of those very same policies.

McGuinty’s speech — which he rolled out to business audiences in Kitchener and Hamilton last week — boasted of his government’s green initiatives and the move toward more wind and solar power.

“Clean energy plants are popping up all over the province — and as you can see,” McGuinty said, “that means jobs.”

Well said McGuillicutty! Onward now. Hop on that campaign bus – 2.3 miles to the gallon – and spew a trail of diesel to your next stop. Shit McGuillicutty; come to cottage country. Take a hike in the woods around these heah’ parts. Step onto that barren stretch of Dresden that your uranium companies left on people’s property in the name of jobs, green energy, and the fucking whole earth catalogue.

Better yet McGuillicutty! Come talk to us about jobs here in Haliburton County. Here, here; come hither McGuillicutty. I have one of our tribe right here. Her name is Joan O’Hanrahan. She’s got two kids, a dog and two full time jobs in the burgeoning tourism industry that pay her $9.75 an hour. What’s that McGuillicutty? “Oh, at least she’s got a job,” you say.

Quick premier McGuillicutty, run for your fucking life. Ms. O’Hanrahan is an avid hunter. She feeds her kids with the Moose and two bucks she bags every year.

Quick Dalton hurry hard. I think Joan is going for her gun. Yes, yes. That’s her brand new Remington twin barrel. Ah, run now McGuillicutty that’s number 20 bird shot. Get your butt on that bus McGuillicutty or your doctors will be pulling pellets out of your arse for the next week.

Nice form Dalton. Sprint now baby. Bye-bye Premier McGuillicutty. See you in four years?

Blam! Quick Joan reload. You only got a taillight.

What’s that Officer McBlaster? Of course Joan fired a gun at that departing Liberal campaign bus.

But step back sirruh! We citizens here gathered – the ones clapping and rolling around on the ground laughing? We will all testify to self-defense. That bastard had it coming!

Now what of yon WhoDat. Timmy I believe the lad’s name is.

What say he on this once proud province now stagnating under the burden of a moribund automobile industry.

The PCs said WhoDat are sick and tired of grants and money granted to large multi-nationals.

Reports CBC:

But in his speech, Hudak slammed the Liberals’ energy plans, calling them “expensive energy experiments [/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][that] are pushing seniors’ carefully planned budgets right to the limit.”

If the Conservatives form the next government, Hudak said, “we will not continue down Dalton McGuinty’s path of these massive subsidies [which are given] far too often to well-connected businesses, insiders or foreign-based corporations like Samsung.”

McGuinty talked up the harmonized sales tax as good for the province’s economy.

“The HST is a value-added tax, like they have in 140 other countries. The reason they all have an HST-like tax is simple — it’s good for growth,” McGuinty said.

But Hudak called the HST a “tax grab [that] is particularly devastating for Ontario seniors who are on fixed incomes.”

And while the premier said his generic drug policy “saves taxpayers $500,000 every year,” Hudak said what that policy led to was “cuts to local pharmacies that seniors depend upon.”

The speeches of the two leaders appeared to be filled with the messages they’ll try to promote in the lead up to Ontario’s October vote.

One notable difference in approach is that Hudak mentioned McGuinty at nearly every turn, while in his 25-minute speech, McGuinty didn’t mention Hudak at all.  

And the quack and tweet drifts out over the valeys and dales of cottage country.

A bastion of the new middle class.

Stuttered laborers in a market shorn of all respect, decency and advantage to the working poor in this neck of god’s green hectare.

I hear nothing about the young people in Ontario and Canada looking for work.

They are the last to recover this 15-25 year old demographic.

CBC radio reports cited a treble increase over the conveniently publicized national unemployment rate of 8 percent.

Among the 15-25 class in Ontario the unemployment figures are closer to 21 to 22 percent.

And our seniors?

Well apparently we can just write them off. Haliburton County is is the new Victoria.

And some pensioners are trying to eke out a living here with CP and basic social security.

That’s like $18,000 a year. That’s dog food territory there, Messrs WhoDat and McGuillicutty.

So go ahead and prop yourself on that platform of matchsticks fellers.

Cos there’s a shitstorm still a comin’.

And I don’t think either of you has the stomach or the cohones to handle the detritus when it all flys up against those windmill turbine blades.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]