[Video] Cuppa Joe – G’Morning Haliburton! – Joey Chestnut – NUTS!

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Well. Cuppa Joe - of a sudden - realizes that he succumbed to ironic hyperbole again. So in light of this jackhammered juxtapposition? We will say. Screw you Joey Chestnut. And shame on you Nathan's For sponsoring this cluster-fueled farce.

Cuppa Joe – Joe Simonsky – in Vancouver

To hell with Joey Chestnut and to hell with the Nathan’s Hot Dog empire.

Can you tell I’m ticked?

Jeez Louise.

Manic Depression.

I call BOLLOCKS!

On this seminal July 4th event.

My comment is done pictorially. Above in the cutline of the feature photo.

Joey Chestnut is a hero like Hannibal was a circus barker.

I’m going with the elephants here knuckleheads; and it’s 3 am here at Granville Island.

So shoot me.

I’ll get Gav to fix up that metaphor later.

Point is?

Well point is we have some kids going to school hungry right here in Vancouver. We have huge problems in the third world.

And these mawkish clowns are stuffing hot dogs down their throats.

If only people would realize that Hot Dog Eating Contest? Is oxymoronic. Wait. I meant moronic. Wait. It’s both.

As my great-uncle David used to say.

“Well, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” said Dave.

“But, hey, I was a member of the first infantry platoon into Bergen-Belsen.”

Okay. So a little over the top Uncle David. Jeez Uncle David!

But we get the idea.

Hey Joey Chestnut.

Congratulations on this life you’ve chosen.

Now turn around. And shove the next Nathan’s dog up yer’ arse!

Just for “shitz” and giggles![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]